Tuesday, 7 October 2008

2 minutes ago

The damn apple tree has started escalating (ejaculating?) the apple throwing vendetta. I was having a perfectly innocent and innocuous ciggie when SPLAT and an apple fell an inch from my foot and rolled to touch me. The tree swayed, dismissively. In a flash, I stooped and flung the said apple back at the tree, and I gave that tree such a tongue-lashing I hope it feels sore, or at least, if apple-trees have ears, they are burning. Then it had the temerity to drop a big one about three feet away. It was a warning. It rustled in a menacing manner. I gave it the vees and decided discretion was the better part, etc, so went indoors before it decided to seize me in its gnarly boughs and bugger the living daylights out of me. Its overburdened apply boughs soughed and sighed mockingly as I shut the door.

Strange though. The thought of telling a tree where to get off is quite natural for my wider family. Perhaps explains why many of them are still fervent Catholics. Similar mindset.

As for me, I can switch and chop and spin and change from "it's a tree" to "it's a bloody tree that has it in for me" in a second. I don't take any of this seriously though, so don't take it seriously either.

1 comment:

Terra Incognita said...

Hm, talking to trees, eh?
Wonderful. I do it all the time.
It's when they answer back that's the problem.