Thursday, 9 October 2008

:-(

I've been a corpse
today, a corpse
with a fireball head.

I rarely
end up immobile. Mood
has been plummeting
all day. And I've just
watched The Bicycle
Thieves for the first
time, and can't stop
crying.

It's been building all day.
Perhaps I watched
a sad film on purpose. Usually
sad films have the opposite effect.

But I'm just a hunch
tonight. I'm an infold.
I'm a piece of paper scrunched
into as tight a ball as a hand
can crush.

I'm forcing myself
to write each word
to make myself unfold.

Sorry everyone.

I hate my own unresponsiveness
when people try to help -
when all you want
to say is "Go
away!
Let me
suffer
in peace."*

"And if there is one hellish, truly accursed thing in our time, it is our artistic dallying with forms, instead of being like victims burnt at the stake, signalling through the flames." Antonin Artaud.

* - The chopped up prose is to illustrate the quote. Not poetry. My god, no.

3 comments:

Immi said...

Peace to you. I hope you feel better.

Terra Incognita said...

(((D))))
I know how you are feeling.
Thank you for describing it so well.

Lola Snow said...

You don't need my platitudes, but all the same you have my sympathy.
It's a sh*tty place to be
Lola x