Saturday, 22 November 2008

Bankruptcy, Accounts, Hypomania.

Saw cpn today. Told him I've been a bit up the last few weeks, but nothing to worry about. He said, "so not bursting the banks", which was pretty much accurate. I've had a fantastic focus for a few days coming down from a bit of a shambolic peak. Or perhaps I'm still going up. I don't know. Been finally sorting out the business accounts. (My tax return was due last Jan....)

I had a sticky moment trying to chase down about 13K that didn't add up and was going to be an absolute disaster on the tax-bill (whenever that happens) as opposed to just a disaster. (Yes, I have considered bankruptcy.) Any good accountants out there who have experience of the books of manic types? Thank god I found I'd entered a sale twice... arrrgh! The worst of it is that I had no business planning sense throughout 2007, and sent out so many invoices, the profit/loss account is going to give me a mammoth bill, but the cash account tells a very different story.

Being off the pills I'm cycling roughly monthly from normal to hypo. On the pills I was cycling from depressed to hypo. Go figure.

Been reading some depressing stuff: (nazi mental eugenics) and Models of Madness

I've decided I don't hate psychiatrists. I really hate them.

On another note. I mentioned to the cpn I was wondering whether to appeal/get a second opinion on my diagnosis. After all, the 'acute' peak over last autumn/winter/spring feels like the seventh wave - doesn't come round too often. He laughed, and said that it would be a waste of time. And also to pity the poor fucks who are the psychiatrists. Forgive them for they know not what they do. I like my cpn a lot. He's a fucking star.

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