Friday, 16 January 2009

Ok, Over A Year

Yeah, yeah, yestreen a year ago they came clumping up to the house with their burly faces and concerned looks. (I was sure they had restraints in the boots of their cars.)

Following that, they banged me on the head with quetiapine until I felt rather 'not-quite-with-it'. But thank goodness they let me stay at home. Funnily though, my wife today mentioned off the cuff that I should really have gone into hospital, in retrospect... (we'd been talking about banging heads on the wall and other grisly stuff).

To try and keep some sense and to fight against the feeling of being steam-rollered I would go out for walks in the rain everyday. See? I was better then than I've been lately. Ridiculous.

Oh well. A self-portrait from around that time:

And yes I was as zombified as I look. I could have sat there for hours. I might well have sat there for hours. I can't remember.

Take care all.


Lola Snow said...

{{{Hugs}}} to you D.

Lola x

Ron said...

What a great pic - nothing beats b&w.

perfectdefect said...

That's sad. I feel your pain with the quetiapine. Hope things get better immediately with some kind of wonder pill you find in your kitchen cupboard behind that tin of something that know one knows what it is and don't dare to find out but for some reason still don't want to throw away. Take a look. I bet it's there.

Mandy said...

Hallo D

I know that feeling of feeling that I am being steam-rollered although for a few years now I feel more that I have at least some say in my care and what I will or won't take meds wise. It has taken me 18 years to get this far.

It could be called some kind of recovery although i think it is more a case of going through several mills to realise I don't want to go through them again.

The photo is very atmospheric and your face realy does say it all.

All I can say really is to go as gently as you can with yourself and am thinking of you x

Terra Incognita said...

I remember the time. I went there too. I wouldn't have preferred the hospital, however.

Hannah said...

What a powerful image, really strong and emotive, could look at it for hours,

Han xx