Monday, 27 April 2009

I'll Never Forget

My psychiatrist's face when I ferociously scribbled the note "FAMILY MURDER" on a great-grand-parent in the already dubious family history.

Since then I have discovered another of that generation from that branch who "Died of a broken heart." (She went to bed, and was found dead in the morning). Pathologists were kindly people in those days. She wasn't old.

Not to mention Budge, on whom I have already posted. Nor my mother's father who did several stints in Coney Hill, the local Gloucester asylum.

Is there a genetic basis? I don't know. Is there a mimetic basis? Probably. Are they entwined? I suspect so.

My extended family greeted my diagnosis with love and oodles of affection. It was very touching to be honest. But I think all the nutty ones nodded their aged heads and found a certain validation.

I'm not knocking the love and affection that sprang out of that dry well. Not at all.


differentlysane said...

Someone somewhere (on TV so it must be true :-) ) said that everyone with bipolar had somebody further up their tree with it. Although I'm pretty sure everyone has a crazy relative or too.

As for me, there's the great-uncle who killed himself, the great-aunt who tried several times and never succeeded and the other great-aunt who went round attacking people with meat cleavers and carving knives, I also had a great-aunt who was a nun...

So in the words of Cary Grant, "insanity doesn't run in my family, it gallops."

Take care,

lettersfromexile said...

All my comments are inappropriate questions, le sigh.

Abysmal Musings said...

Inappropriate away.

lettersfromexile said...

Well, firstly, I'm nosey so I want to hear the details. And, secondly, I want to ask if you worry about your own children. (Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf.)

Abysmal Musings said...

Of course I worry. But I do my damnednest not to worry to the point where that becomes another bad influence.

I have been thinking on a post about MH, being a parent, all the ramifications for a while. Just found the prospect too depressing. I should pull my finger out and write it.

Take care, D x

Abysmal Musings said...

p.s. Larkin references at this time of night - last thing I need right now. Funny - for the last few hours I have distinctly felt like not-me. It's faintly disturbing. Who is this damn stranger I find myself inside?

la said...

Sorry :/

Abysmal Musings said...

No, I'm sorry - I should have added a late-night smiley grimace thing. I'll take that poem to the grave, written on folded paper in my breast pocket. Dx