This constant fluctuation is tediously horrible. Sometimes it's a genuine relief at first to fall or rise unambivalently down or up, but this internal tug-of-war is just exhausting and a bloody pain.
A nerveless marionette pulled prancingly by an idiot shaking the strings.
I've been trying not to define my mood for ages. But currently low mood, agitated, and too many thoughts are raising havoc in my brain like the end-hours of a party that's turning ugly. Oh, and anxious - unreasonably, stupidly anxious, just to put the icing on the turd.
Sleep has been packing her bags again. I think she's had enough of me and has gone for a holiday.
In a nutshell, I'm up but have a lot to be glum about at the moment. I have a lot to feel happy about too. I should remind myself. It doesn't help, but it makes me feel cross with myself and puts an end to pathetic maunderings such as these.
Self-observation one thing, self-pity is verboten.
A fountain polluted with oil. A bursting rosebush caked with careless slurry.
Verboten! Enough! Take care all.
Ready To Rock
1 month ago