Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Drafts to the Psychiatrists.

(Just had the summary letter from the psych from last Tuesday's appointment. I now know why I like him - he treats me on the basis of what I say, not what I imply. He's a gorgeous faith-inspiring Nigerian - I genuinely like him a lot as a person - but... but... he doesn't get what I'm telling him.)

Random quote: "You and your wife have experienced a significant improvement in your relationship because you make pots together."!!!!! K found me cackling at that this morning. "News to me," she jested. The rest of the letter was even more inaccurate.

So here follows some tentative draft to 'them' putting things straight. And it's for me really I'm attempting this. Because I'm feeling betterish for the first time in ages, and want to fool myself / take advantage of the feeling / ride the silly wave / just keep going without the horrid.


Gorblimey Doc, it's draughty in here!

Start again.


Here is my considered opinion on my mental health at present. The last week or two of April, and the first week of May was hell. Hypomania with bells on. The only 'disordered thinking' and 'bizarre perceptions' were merely headbutting a door as hard as I could, not being able to sleep for the noise in my ears, and... no... I'm not going to tell you about the disordered thoughts.

I kept myself safe though. I didn't feel SUICIDAL once. (Though was told tonight by one of my closest friends he'd been very worried about me over the last few weeks). But he was mistaken. At present, I'm fully cognizant of my responsibilities towards my children and their upbringing. Suicide is off the table. See? I'm well if I think that. I know it doesn't always hold.

I am doing better for myself off the medication in one aspect: the ricochet seems to be slackening. I am convinced I have a temperament that zooms up whenever the bad big down comes along - a survival mechanism. The pills, which are basically depressants, send me up, or plunge me far too down. Funny eh? Let's all have a cup of tea and laugh about it. Ha ha ha! Our prescription nearly made him kill himself!

(Should perhaps edit last para).

Where was I, dear Doctors...? The last week has been the best week I've had since 2007.

Put that in your fucking file and choke on it you shits.

Sorry dear readers.

Was overcome with a certain emotion beginning with R. Those idiots. Incompetent idiots. I don't want to become a professional symptom-shouting whinge-bucket. I do the English stiff upper lip. Why can't they read it?

Arghghh. Sigh.

I am going to write and correct them. But glad to get the worst out of my system.



Take care all, sorry to be angry online, again... and again... and again...



Hannah said...

Bind us together Lord - with pots!
have no idea why that song came into my head while I was reading your post, glad I'm going to see the doc tomor!

La-reve said...

Could do with some of that pot making. ha. Like the passion of the letter D. would like to see their faces if it was ever sent.

Abysmal Musings said...

God. Just had to fill in ANOTHER incapacity benefit form. The pen caught fire.

Good luck tomorrow/today Hannah,

Take care La-reve,

atb all Dx

Ruby Tuesday said...

I wish you could send it like that. Pot-making indeed.