Wednesday, 6 May 2009

I Am A Wee (not pee) Bit Up

But taking a leaf from Dee Dee, I would only describe this as the hypos.

The only thing and strange thing that is the coronary corollary to that argument is that some aspects of that bete noir called psychosis I have quite often. I call it inspiration, personally, so it isn't usually a problem. Yes, I see and hear people, but I've done it all my life. I know (I KNOW!!!) they're not real. They are figments of me. I can't control them. They'd be very boring if I could. But I'm only telling you all this in the hope it reassures someone, anyone.

I have had psychotic times which I couldn't deal with properly, at the time. They were very frightening. But in retrospect, they have taught me a lot about how my brain usually works.

After all. Bad dreams? We can deal with them. What is the difference with waking bad dreams?

I'm ok. In fact my biggest 'problem' is that I can live with it. And no-one around me can live with me without it. End of story.

Keep safe all.


Mandy said...

Hi D

Dr Rufus May has (as much as I know of him) an approach to dealing with illness in which people 'come to terms' with it and then learn to live with it...I guess, in the hope they lead better quality lives after. He is not violently opposed to medication (I think because he has to work in a system that is dominated by the use of it). However, he offers another approach to dealing with illness, particularly the hearing of voices (the ones that come from within but are hard to recognise as such).

I don't knock what he fact the more choices of support people have (and not just via the NHS) is for the better and I think that because even if something doesn't work for an individual, they can try something else.

Is good to read that you aren't at the mercy of your psychosis and actually use it to your advantage.

An ex boyfriend sent me a card. I was about 19 at the time and it said "Erotic, neurotic and a little psychotic" on it. I was pretty chuffed with that. Ha! Ha! Note fact that it was an ex boyfriend. You can't win 'em all. :>)


lettersfromexile said...

I should be showering and dressing and getting on a train. Instead I'm commenting here. Pretend I send something good, OK?

Abysmal Musings said...

Thanks both.

What is the word? Not at the mercy of til one is. It's when I'm 200% confident I'm well and normal that I have to watch myself.

Erotic, neurotic and a little psychotic. I want the t-shirt!

D x