But there is a difference.
Three days ago I had no choice. Tonight I'm just winding down.
And the horrid noise in the head that has built and built over the last two months has gone.
It must be a good sign? Mustn't it?
I feel calm inside. Calm and confident and still. Not ghastly shredding and anxiety and tap-dancing.
Please, no 'calm before the storm' comments. I don't think I'm in the eye of the hurricane either.
I can't explain it, but I feel much better. And just one night's good sleep did it. Haven't had super sleep since. Firstly, families with small children don't let you, even if they're trying to. Secondly, I'm still zinging, but it's shifted into a different framework. A calm framework. It'll turn into productivity I hope. That's what always used to happen. Those bloody pills just sent me into depression or mixed states. I'm trying an experiment - letting nature take her bloody course.
Wish me luck!
Ready To Rock
1 month ago