Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Psych Visit Today

And don't you hate them? I hate them. This lisping child, wanting to run away out of the room every time I let another piece of information fall that he hadn't read in the file.

Still, seemed to convince him (I wasn't going to hurt him) that I was no threat to society or myself eventually.

But it's fucking demeaning. Even if I haven't been at my 'best' recently.

Let's change the subject.

A picture. I took 12 pics on the medium format camera after the 1000000gazillionth dip in the river in the barn, and have been fucking about with them since.


And here's the first stages of a painting I've started doing from it.

roughing out

Will update now and again, depending on drying times.

But bloody psychiatrists. Cretins. Idiots. But over here, and in my experience, they need their noses wiping.

Like being interviewed by a child.

And they are here to HELP!????

There is something stinkin' in the Mental state of DenmarUK


Morte said...

My Psych is straight out useless. It's one way traffic, I talk, he listens and takes notes, or records it. He writes to my Doctor. End of session.
He doesn't really get to know me at all, what makes me tick, my views on the world and everything. We spend an hour together every month or so.

I had similar frustrations in hosptial. This time it's a different Dr, and with a rushed 20minute consultation and skim reading of notes he has you 'understood'. You're then left to stew for several days, doped up on unexplained alterations in medication.

Yeh I'm on a downer with the 'system' at the moment.

Ron said...

Much prefer the artwork to the photo - you have been able to bring it alive.

I once got so tired of explaining my whole life to yet another new medic I wrote out a list of bullet points on one side of an A-4 and I would hand that over and wait for them to read it. When they asked another silly question I would give them another copy.

differentlysane said...

The painting is amazing.

Beginning to think that 'useless and incompetent' is part of the job description when it comes to psychiatrists. Still mine might never listen, is completely incapable of doing anything, is a liar and/or apparently psychic - but at least she's older than me...

Ah well.

Take care,

David said...

Thanks everyone.

Just got time for a quick comment will reply at length tomorrow -

Differently - just imagine how it feels when all of them are *younger* than you...

Wisdom was in god-awful short supply when it was doled out to the psychiatric profession.

Take care everyone, Dx

eccedentesiat said...

Love the artwork and the original picture. Both beautiful.

On the psych front, I've seen 6 since I was 12. I'm now almost 19. None of the CAMHS or CMHT or A&E types helped in the slightest apart from finally getting me on a medication that worked recently which has, if I'm honest, been amazing for me. The thing is, I just see this as another part of the guessing game of medication. Current psych doesn't know me, doesn't want to know me and our appointments are always battles, much like yours.

At the beginning of the year, my parents booked me in for 2 private psych sessions out of desperation. In those two sessions, I felt she understood and "got" what was wrong with me. Funny how a few hundred quid gets your attention.

Anyway, apologies for ranting lol.

Take care,

Em x

David said...

Where to start?

Morte, Differently, hope you're both doing ok. Give me a bell ffs if you just fancy a change or a chat.

Ron, diver, ecce...

Minor points first... diver - photo was taken on a fifty year old camera and fucked up with modern software. Best of both worlds eh? It's strange though, I was naked most of that fortnight... It got disturbingly natural so to speak!

However, and this ties in with Ron's answer... They are not interested. Because firstly it is challenging. Secondly it invites thought. Thirdly it begs interpretation. Fourthly it makes them feel inadequate. Fifthly they doubt their vocation. And Sixthly they take it out on the next poor fucking patient by upping their dose. Or something. But they are human wankers. And I am always aware that the worse I make them feel "might" have a positive impact on someone down the line, but is just as fucking likely knowing the clueless cunts they are to have a horrible over-reaction on the person who can't make them feel small next in the queue.

Ecce - your last paragraph is all top-marketing distilled into one sentence. Absolutely brilliant. If I charge £500 for 6 hours, then I am worth it. Obviously. And I was, for years. Until I cracked.

At least my work/pay model allowed me to take 6 months off at random times per year to accomodate myself to the land of the bloody sane.

Take care everyone and all. Sorry to be so sweary. Dx

la said...

You are so bloody ridiculously talented.

But you also sound like a Mail reader in that last sentence ;)

David said...

La - what? "Sorry to be so sweary?" A thousand lashes if true!

Reason for post: the 'finished' picture: http://abysmalmusings.blogspot.com/2009/11/conception-of-cain-after-fall.html

Keep safe all.