I get angry when I read remarks about manic-depression (etc) that insist that it is nothing but an illness. I would call it a description of a broad variety of people who for better or for worse, inhabit the very edges of their skin. Thin-skinned. Flayed. Excoriated.
These people often suffer horribly. We go through periods of illness, sometimes continually so. But it is not who we are that is the basis of those illnesses. Illness is the reaction of who we are to our lives in this unamenable world.
It becomes very difficult at times to act within society in a manner that is acceptable to our so-called shared norms. But to call it an illness in social terms, presupposes the need or imperative for a cure. If you can't fit in, you need to be made to fit in. That leads to a whole disgusting fascist mindset. If I break a law of the land - THEN you can make me fit in, and I won't quibble.
I have come to the conclusion that I am lucky. I have no idea if my personal intelligence and creativity comes joined at the hip with my volatile and infinitely curious, indefatigable personality, but I have a gut feeling that it does. I also have a wise monkey writing on my solar plexus that all the breakups and violence of childhood, going back through the generations is as much a cause as a putative genetic disease that predisposes people to those turmoils. Chicken or egg? Cluck cluck off.
I don't want to be 'cured', because I am who am, and I am what I am. I desperately wish I could function better (that old 90% perspiration clause), but not at the expense of the perspicacity that is me.
My life is my bloody fate, and I'm not scared of it. Don't assume in my name that I need or want to be made 'better'. I'm busy making my world around me 'better'.
Ok, rant over. Somedays I prefer the visible enemy of the psychiatric profession to the bromide-laced teacups of the mental health charities.
Edit. This is basically a plea for live and let live. If you are happier calling it a disease, or thinking of it as an illness that 'attacks from without'*, then do so if it helps you. Just don't automatically apply what helps you to me. I view my troubles as parts of me attacking other parts of me. My role is internal peacemaker, in my particular circumstances.
We are all entitled to form our own strategies for survival.
Take care all, I'm in a good mood today. Dx
* there must be a pedantic latin tag I could have used there, but I don't know it.
Ready To Rock
1 month ago