Friday, 19 March 2010

Rubicon, Decision, Break

CPN phoned out of the blue. I think he fancied some tea and cake. Anyway, I told him I'd put the kettle on once I returned his call. I heard the answer phone go, but we were otherwise engaged.

Anyway, when he came round, he was all for the small talk and the niceties. I cut to the chase, told him I wanted to get signed off, that I would probably be demanding a letter confirming I'm deemed well enough to go up high buildings, and p.s. a copy of my notes.

He did the guarded positive thing. But I'm going to hold him to these. The time has come. I'm big enough, old enough, and ugly enough to cope.

I pointed out I don't take any of their pills, there is no therapy in this area, and that I always do my damnednest to stay below their radar when I do get 'ill'. He couldn't counter those arguments.

So, why should I waste their resources? I have no reason, I get no benefit. Time to be me again.

Take care all.

(I'd link to Nina singing 'Feelin' Good', but that would be plagiarism. So here's something different.)

(p.p.s. ffs that is the best version I've heard of that song)


Differently Sane said...

Hope you get what you asked for. Although bitter experience tells me that when you're well and know your mind and want discharging is when they try and through services at you...

I'd ask for one of the old style certificates they used to give out at Asylums - you know the "certified SANE" ones - that'd be awesome...

Take care,

David said...

Sounds super - the certificate - tried googling to no avail. I used to have a whole unused book of death certs once. Wonder what happened to that? Will be watching out for them reneging...


Differently Sane said... - is the only mention I could find (which is odd):

"Dr. Charles Cameron, M.P. (pp. 377-383) submitted information to the Committee regarding the case of David West, who was improperly committed and detained in a public asylum in Glasgow. A certificate of "absolute sanity" was required by Scottish law before a pauper patient could be discharged. He thought the Board of Lunacy in Scotland should have discretionary powers to release harmless patients, despite the fact that they were not completely sane."

Friend of a friend had one in the ?40s/50s and used to be quite proud of the fact that he was (usually) the only person in the room who could prove he wasn't mad...

Actually he went on to have some part in the development of sterile ventilation in operating theatres (of course that's all hearsay...)

The death certificates could come in handy for evading taxmen, unwanted relatives, landlords etc... ;-)

Take care,

Morte said...

Contrary to what Differently said, I was of the impression (in fact, I've heard directly) that they were seeking to reduce such services anyway. In fact I'm surprised they've not already moved to discharge you anyway.
Aren't they phasing out CPN home visits and such like? With exception the borderline hospital cases.

Anyway, good decision, good luck.

That said, I'm being weened off my CPN of 2 years or so, and it's very very difficult.
Mainly because my link work is shit. Despite assurances that being known to CRHT makes a referral (again) from primary care less traumatic, I still have to go to the link worker first.
So more likely outcome is a police-taxi to the 136 suite again.

Take care.

David said...

(and that was past tense 'read' - not imperative!) take care all, Dx

David said...

I'm so damned ignorant I don't even know what a link worker is...

I understand where you're coming from M, but for me, I can't help feeling guilty that I'm tying up resources, and that I'll feel damnably better when I know there is a clean break... (as if there ever is a clean break).

Still no news from dratted CPN - he said he'd phone on Mon. Then again, he was muttering again about me being untreated - it makes me feel I have a flashing light on the top of my head and a klaxon going off when he says that.

This link is all a bit too new-agey for the likes of me, but I think I know what the chap is banging on about. - Actually, no, not banging on so much as crooning along with the dolphins... No, I haven't watched the video, just read the words.