Thursday, 13 May 2010

Status Report

Yes. The split is final. Irrevocable. It's over. Done and dusted. Dead and buried. My god, the feeling of freedom when it takes you, wracks you, makes you wonder who you have become, and who you will be in the future, after twenty years.... is both intoxicating and most curious.

There is still going to be a pile of hell stretching over probably years as we come into contact through the necessity of arranging who has the children when, how, if

I am moneyless, carless, mostly friendless, but have a safe haven for a couple of months.

I can't begin to describe how sane I feel now I am out of that relationship. Sad, true, maybe tainted with bastardry, but still true to my heart and soul.

Breaking up is so easy to do when you've wanted to for eighteen years (maybe a slight exaggeration here...).

I blame my own crap splitting parents for my fortitude when I shouldn't have been patient.

But still, I regret nothing. Anything different in the past would mean my lovely boys wouldn't be here, and I would never wish that they weren't in a billion decades.

But what is done is done.

Shakespeare summed up my situation best. I've read this to so many people. Let me do the tawdry blogger version and c&p it for you lot:

SONNET 121


'Tis better to be vile than vile esteem'd,
When not to be receives reproach of being,
And the just pleasure lost which is so deem'd
Not by our feeling but by others' seeing:
For why should others false adulterate eyes
Give salutation to my sportive blood?
Or on my frailties why are frailer spies,
Which in their wills count bad what I think good?
No, I am that I am, and they that level
At my abuses reckon up their own:
I may be straight, though they themselves be bevel;
By their rank thoughts my deeds must not be shown;
Unless this general evil they maintain,
All men are bad, and in their badness reign.

CXXI

Take care all.

4 comments:

Terra Incognita said...

:)I know the feeling! Love your boys, they are adorable. Best wishes David.

tweednut said...

Thanks Terra. Take care yourself too. x

Morte said...

" My god, the feeling of freedom when it takes you, wracks you, makes you wonder who you have become, and who you will be in the future, after twenty years.... is both intoxicating and most curious."Oddly enough I can imagine this, I've certainly wished for it hard enough over the years.I think finality is the only way. Better for all concerned.Take care,

tweednut said...

Cheers Morte, I do believe those are some very wise words at the end of your comment! atb