Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Disconnected Slices and Slithers

i) When an event of extreme emotional import occurs, no single interpretation will suffice. All the varied explanations are probably true, and none will stand by itself, and many will be contradictory.

ii) Black and white thinking: "It was all perfect / it was all shit." "I am perfect; you are shit." "It is all your fault." "After all I've done for you how can you treat me so horribly?" (~ rhetorical ~ answer your own question: 'What have you done for (to) me, for me to treat you so?' - Real life is a mixture of good times, bad times, boring and interesting, all blended to a farty paste of varied tedium - one aspect never defines the whole, and black and white thinkers always make that mistake, and contradict themselves by the minute.

iii) A long and complex emotional or loving history only makes sense when viewed through a variety of prisms, both modern and arcane. Sometimes contradictory drives or urges or goads combine to push events in a certain direction, even though this seems paradoxical.

iv) Alone. Be hard. Like a stone. A desert quartz, dry, and unblinking. Not the fitful emerald, nor the liquid sapphire.

v) Being homeless with a car is definitely preferable to being homeless without a car, but not by much.

vi) Advocatus diaboli - You have been bored with your wife, with fatherhood too, evidently. All that seeking-out of people. Were you after novelty? ~ M aybe. I'm probably guilty of all manner of things. Easier to declare what I am not guilty of.

vii) Moments of fate. But how to tell the good ones from the bad ones? When is forwards backwards? Or when is an apparently retrograde step really an advance? To act when all seems wrong apart from the insistent voice in the core; to hold back, wary, when all seems right. But take care against over-caution, and guard against stubbornness.

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